A Sneak Peek...

With great excitement and and admittedly anxious heart, I want to share some "news" with you, my fellow "mommies." No, it's not that kind of news. Although a dear friend did tell me just this morning that it is kinda like having a baby...

Ahem.

Anyway, the "news" is that I have officially agreed to a contract to write my first book! The book is provisionally entitled, Becoming a Mommy with Hope: Living God's Promises in the Shadow of Pregnancy and Infant Loss. The book itself is actually a bible study that weaves in teaching, women's stories, prayer, journaling/reflection, and application. Each chapter focuses on a specific promise of God, related to loss.

Here are the promises I am focusing on in the book:

The Ultimate Promise ~ Jesus

The Promise of His Abiding Love

The Promise of His Goodness

The Promise of Purpose

The Promise of His Comfort

The Promise of Refinement

The Promise of Restoration

The Promise of Hope

The Promise of Eternity

During this season of life in the shadow of my own losses, I am feeling incredibly blessed. I am seeing purpose in the pain, like our dear Sister we learned about in the previous post. I would appreciate your prayers as God continues to do a work amongst us!

And then we were done...

If you have been following this blog for the past few months, you know that we have been working through Becky Avella's book, And Then You Were Gone: Restoring a Broken Heart After Pregnancy Loss. Well...we have officially finished the book in our face-to-face study, and this post is the final post related to the book's final chapter titled "Now What? Facing the Future."

Before I move into the meat of this post as it relates to the book, I have to encourage each and every one of you to get Becky's book! If you have been impacted by pregnancy or infant loss, you will certainly be blessed by reading it. She very eloquently weaves in her own story while keeping the reader focused on sound, biblical truth. Also, if you have read her book, please log on to Amazon.com and write a review! This would be a wonderful blessing to her and I know she will treasure your words.

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Now what? Some of you may be struggling with a lack of explanation for your loss(es). Others of you may have information to move forward and have decisions to make about the future of your families. Still, others of you may have experienced yet another loss and are beginning to wonder whether you will be blessed with children to care for on this earth. We are all in different places and that's okay. Not any one of us has the exact same path laid out before us. We are unique. God, in His Sovereignty, has masterfully laid out each and every piece of our life's puzzle. As time goes by, He pieces each part together to make us complete. When we try to piece things together ourselves, parts become jumbled and the fit is not right. We have to get to a place where we let Him do the work.

In this chapter, Becky reminds us to "just do the next thing." I love this. It seems so simple and so basic, yet we muddy things up by always getting out ahead of ourselves to see the finished picture. She states, "Instead of being terrified by a future that is too overwhelming, just do the next thing that needs doing. Don't face the entirety of your future. Face today. Face this moment. In reality, it is all we really have" (p. 88). Also in this section of her chapter, Becky provides some great questions to ask yourself, such as...

Who does God want me to be today and what does He want me to do about it?

How will I live the life I am given today?

Additional questions that we came up with as a group to help us in this "face today" philosophy include...

What do I have to be thankful for today?

How can I bless someone else today?

How can I serve God today?

I believe the answer to any and all of these questions posed above lies in the truth of Matthew 6:33-34, which states...

"But seek first His kingdom and His righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. therefore do no worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own."

Seeking Him, my Jesus, and His kingdom is my first priority. I can trust Him to work out all the other details. I can rest in knowing that He has it all under control. I don't need to look so far ahead because my Savior already knows and His plans are for good (Romans 8:28). This very notion reminds me of an old gospel song that my mom shared with me in recent months. You see, my maternal grandma went to be with Jesus in June of this past year. Mom told me that she always used to sing "One Day at a Time." The lyrics of the chorus are as follows:

One day at a time, sweet Jesus

That's all I'm asking from you.

Just give me the strength

To do everyday what I have to do.

Yesterday's gone, sweet Jesus

And tomorrow may never be mine.

Lord help me today, show me the way

One day at a time.

With that, I want to conclude this post with some final words from Becky. She urges us to trust God in writing our story and to get to a place where we can say, "My Jesus is enough." Of God's character, she writes: "He is out to love us, mold us, shape us, draw us to Himself and ultimately work out what is best for us individually and for the Kingdom as a whole." He truly is, ladies! He wants to bring us to His Son. He longs for a personal relationship with us through the sacrifice Christ. Can you honestly say, "My Jesus is enough?" Is He?

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More on this tomorrow, along with a special countdown to Christmas. Stay tuned and be blessed! For now, I would love to hear how you are "just doing the next thing." Share your wisdom in the comments!

In the Word Wednesday (Ch 9) - Where Your Treasure Is

For where your treasure is, there your heart will also be.
Matthew 6:21

This week's chapter of our study of And Then You Were Gone by Becky Avella focuses on looking toward eternity. I have to admit, this week has been difficult. An emotional rollercoaster of sorts. In my own grief journey, it's just been one of those weeks. I could go into all the details as to why I think things are tough, but I will spare you the details. Truly, the details are the very things that have taken my focus away from the One True source of Hope and strength I have. My Jesus. So this week's chapter is quite timely for me. Isn't that just like God?

Becky starts the chapter out by sharing how she is now able to see that God began preparing her for her miscarriages before they occurred. Can any one of you relate? When you look back, what circumstances or people do you feel God divinely orchestrated for the particular purpose and reason of preparation? Who did He send? How have you seen His hand cover all the details? Though I can recall numerous instances, one in particular comes to mind. In fact, it was a person. An unlikely friend. God placed us in an office together during our graduate studies. We could not be more opposite. She was all "Christian-like" and me...well, that's a different story. Still, a friendship grew and God has used her in unimaginable ways in my life. I could literally write an entire post devoted to her, as she did on her own blog recently, but I do feel that such a post is for another day. I will, however, say one thing about how God used her... She showed the love of Jesus to me when I was most unlovable and that brought me back to His feet in surrender. I am forever thankful for how God used her. It was her living testimony that led me to realign my hope to where it belonged. In Christ, my Savior!

Speaking of hope, Becky states, "The hope of Heaven was a key ingredient in surviving and healing" (p. 78). Hope. If we know Jesus, we possess a heavenly hope that surpasses any earthly treasure. For those of us who have babies in heaven, it looks all the more sweet. Psalm 84:1, 10 says,

"How lovely is Your dwelling place, O Lord Almighty...Better is one day in your courts than thousands elsewhere."

Indeed, how lovely...and oh so much better! I admit that sometimes, however, I lose sight of this eternal perspective. We talked about this in the face-t0-face group last night and came to a consensus that it is difficult and challenging at times to keep our eyes focused on eternity. In my grief, my mind couldn't seem to take hold of how to maintain this eternal perspective. I begged the question, What can we do? How can we keep our eyes focused on the heavenly hope that we, who know Christ, possess?

"Since, then, you have been raised with Christ, set your hearts on things above, where Christ is, seated at the right hand of God. Set your minds on things above, not on earthly things. For you died, and your life is now hidden with Christ in God."

Colossians 3:1-3

Reading over these verses, I am reminded and encouraged at all that God has done for me. He sent His Son, Jesus, to live a perfect life and to pay the penalty for my sins. Jesus died on the cross for me. He is the reason I have any hope at all! I have given my life to Him. I've surrendered. He is Lord of my life. I believe this with all my heart. Because of this, I have "been raised with Christ" and my "life is now hidden with Christ in God." Amen?! Yet, there are still times when I find it a challenge to set my heart on things above. The grief can be overwhelmingly painful. Jesus reminds us in the gospel of John of the peace and comfort He brings when He says,

“I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.”

John 16:32-33

Praise Him! He knew there would be troubling times. He knew there would be pain. He knew that some days I may just want to sit and cry and wallow in my grief. Yet He lifts me up and whispers straight into the depths of my soul, "Daughter...take heart! Trust in Me! I have overcome! Look up to Heaven where I am seated! Look up, Teske...may your gaze be heavenly bound. Your babies are with Me."

I cannot conclude this post without an invitation to you, personally, to enter into the saving hope of Jesus Christ. This hope is a gift, available to all. All you have to do is receive it with a humble heart through prayer, as stated so plainly in Romans 10:9-10...

"If you declare with your mouth, 'Jesus is Lord,' and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved. For it is with your heart that you believe and are justified, and it is with your mouth that you profess your faith and are saved."

You will be saved. You will possess a heavenly hope, an assurance of salvation, reunion with your baby, eternity with Jesus. There is no greater hope I can imagine.

In the Word Wednesday...Did She Really Just Say That?! (Chapter 7)

Thanks so much for your patience this week, as I finally post our bible study post (3 days later!)...

Receiving comments with grace. Did you get that? With grace. I have to admit, I was really challenged with this week's chapter under study. When reading the title of the chapter, Did she really just say that? Receiving comments with grace, I was thinking "Yes, all my 'woe is me' experiences of others' insensitive remarks will be validated and I can recruit others to join in on my pity party!" This was not the case. Thank you Becky, for sharing Truth and for letting God use you to teach us.

In reading this chapter, I couldn't help but let my teacher mind wonder about some sort of formula to do just as Becky has instructed. I came up with a chart for organizing some of this information. I find this to be helpful in processing through some of the hurtful comments I can call to mind having received. It is a good way to re-think the motives behind the hurtful words that may have been voiced, and to give me a new focus for understanding and coping with such comments. Here is the table I came up with...feel free to use as you see fit.

Another point I wanted to draw out from this chapter includes the fact that Becky points out two hindrances to being able to receive comments with grace, based on her own personal experience. These two things were pride and rebellion. She described them as follows:

1. Pride: I didn't want to be told this; I already knew it.

2. Rebellion: I didn't want to be encouraged by these words; I wanted my babies...

(pg. 61 of And Then You Were Gone)

Can anyone else relate? Can you think back to any comments you may have received and re-evaluate the situation to see whether pride or rebellion stood in the way of your ability to receive such comments with grace? Personally, I can relate all too well, and am also able to identify other hindrances such as stubbornness, self-pity, and entitlement. What other hindrances in your own life can you identify? What is in the way of you being able to receive comments with grace?

Finally, I love how Becky acknowledges that none of this can be accomplished on our own human strength. She tenderly reminds us of the reliance we must have on God to be able to receive comments with grace. On pg. 62 she states, "I needed the discernment that can only come from the Holy Spirit. Only He could show us which words were applicable to our lives and which were not." This brings me to a point that must not be overlooked. The wisdom and discernment that comes from the Holy Spirit is present only in the hearts of those who have trusted in Jesus Christ as their personal Savior. In John 14:16-17, Jesus says...

"And I will ask the Father, and He will give you another advocate to help you and be with you forever - the Spirit of truth. The world cannot accept him, because it neither sees Him nor knows Him. But you know Him, for He lives with you and will be in you."

Jesus is speaking of the very biblical truth that the Holy Spirit, our counselor and helper, indwells the hearts of Believers - those who have embraced the truth of the gospel. Is that you? I direct you, again, to Appendix B (p. 103) of the book, Do You Know the Healer of Broken Hearts? Do you?

I pray boldly for each of you now...that those of you who know Jesus as Savior are able to call upon the power of the Holy Spirit, who dwells inside of you, to receive hurtful comments with grace and that you may be a testimony of God's grace to all who look upon you as you walk this difficult road. And for those of you who have not received Jesus, may this study, this blog, this ministry, these stories, and all that God places in your path, be a gentle nudge toward the saving One, Jesus Christ! God loves each and every one of you and desires to call you His own.

"Yet to all who did receive him, to those who believed in his name, he gave the right to become children of God."

John 1:12

In the Word Wednesday is Delayed!

Hello faithful followers and friends....my apologies for the delay on the "In the Word Wednesday" post! I'm already a day behind on this weekly post due to a whole array of circumstances (all good), so please forgive me!

I will, however, direct you to another blog (one of our fellow mommies who is doing the study with us!), as she wrote about the recent chapter, titled: Did she really just say that? Receiving comments with grace.

Click here to read Jamie's thoughts!

In the Word Wednesday (Ch. 6) - Satan the Ultimate Bully

Welcome back to our In the Word Wednesday posts. We took a brief break last week in preparation for Hope Retreat, but are excited to be back to our study of And Then You Were Gone: Restoring a Broken Heart After Pregnancy Loss by Becky Avella. You can read previous posts by clicking on the following links:

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

Chapter 3

Chapter 4

Chapter 5

This week's chapter was titled Satan the Ultimate Bully: Surviving Spiritual Attack. Wow, I can't tell you how timely this was in my own life. I have felt the presence of the enemy as he plots his schemes. This was particularly noted in preparation for the Hope Retreat, because of course he would want nothing more than to sabotage the plans of a group of Jesus-lovin' women who seek to gather and bring glory to our God! Still, in light of my own losses, satan continues to torment.

In this chapter, Becky points out the subtlety of satan's ploys. Some of the ways in which she was personally attacked include fear, self-doubt, temptation, and sometimes sinful thoughts. In the face-to-face bible study last night, we discussed how each of us could relate to some of these attacks. What about you? In what ways have you identified spiritual battle unfolding in the aftermath of your own loss?

I love how Becky shared some wonderful insight with us from Search for Significance by Robert S. McGee. She shared his wisdom on just how to take captive every thought and to make it obedient to Christ (2 Corinthians 10:5). This process involves four steps...

1) Identify

Here is where you come to recognize the lies that you've bought into in the midst of your grief. Some of the ones we discussed last night included be overly fearful and/or afraid of the future, believing our losses were some sort of punishment for sin, or feelings of inferiority and as if we aren't worthy of God's love and sanctification. What lies can you identify for yourself?

2) Repent

Here is where you pray to God and ask forgiveness for believing the lie! What comfort to know that we can approach God directly in our prayers and ask Him to remove this thought far from our hearts and minds.

3) Reject

In acknowledging, repenting, and asking God to remove the lie far from us, we are rejecting the thought that once captivated us. Vow to see it for what it is...a lie of the devil, and cast it far from your precious souls!

4) Replace

Finally, through this process, we can replace the lie with Truth. It can be a Scripture passage or verse from God's Word, or a simple Truth about who God is and what He wants for us!

We worked through each of the lies mentioned above and were collectively able to realign our hearts on minds on Truth. That is a very freeing thing, mommies!

I would love to hear from you in the comments. What lies do you need to identify today that we can search and replace with Truth? Let's share this burden and seek to live victoriously in Jesus, our Lord!

In the Word Wednesday....But it's so Unfair! (Ch.5)

"It's not fair!" That was my motto during my pregnancy with Chloe, after finding out about her diagnosis. Many times, that was all my mouth could manage to utter amidst the tears. "It's not fair! I just want her here...that's all!" Over and over I would repeat these words, crying all the more, in some ways as a plea to God to make it all better and that if He'd grant his one request all the pain would go away. He did not miraculously heal her as I hoped, but His mercy welcomed her into His heavenly home and for that I am thankful.

This week, we delved into Chapter 5 of Becky Avella's book, And Then You Were Gone: Restoring a Broken Heart After Pregnancy Loss. We have two groups of ladies meeting face-to-face to discuss this book and our online "mommies" who have been joining in. You can get up to speed and read all of the previous posts by clicking on the links below:


Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4

In Chapter 5, Becky addresses the very real issue of bitterness. Personally, I find it hard to clearly discern what constitutes "bitterness" and what is a part of our normal grief reaction to our losses. In our discussions in the face-to-face bible studies this week, coupled with the reading of this chapter, we agreed that there are some things that are just normal grief reactions that certainly have the propensity to turn into bitter thoughts or feelings. If those normal reactions are leading to sin, then that is where we must draw the line.


Becky talked about the "peripheral issues" that she faced in the aftermath of her losses. These were prime territory for Satan to attack. Some of these issues may include: weight gain, phsyical effects of pregnancy and loss such as milk coming in or embarrassing accidents due to heavy menstrual periods that follow loss. Can you relate? I certainly can!


We talked in the group about the reactions and feelings we have when we see women at the store screaming at their children. One person shared that she tries to cope with this by asking God to help her get through those moments as she faces them. Something I've done to ward off any ill feelings toward these women is to stop right where I am and pray for them. I pray that God would intervene in the escalating situation and I pray for the woman to have patience and kindness toward her children. I have to be honest and tell you that I don't do this every time. Sometimes, I just leave the store angry and frustrated at the fact that such people are blessed with chidlren. Honestly. Yet the times when I have stopped, prayed, and turned it over to God are the times when I am at peace. A peace that only He can bring.

There were a couple of questiosn that Becky brought out in Chapter 5 that I want to repeat here:

"After all I've been through, don't I deserve a little self pity?"
"Aren't I justified in feeling some bitterness?"

If you are like me, you can probably read each of the above questions and say impulsively answer "Yes!" to them both. I confess that there have been numerous times where I've felt entitled to wallowing in my grief. The issue is not about whether or not we can and should grieve...we certainly need to allow ourselves this outlet. Rather, it comes back to the issue of where we draw the line. At what point do our feelings and emotions associated with grief corss over into the realm of bitterness and sin? That's what we need to be cautious of.

Becky points out that we can "choose how we respond each and every time we face heartache." That's right, ladies...we can choose! That doesn't mean it's easy. It doesn't even mean that we will choose a god-honoring response every time. Still, we can choose. This reminds me of a devotion I read some time ago about "Choosing Joy." What does that even mean? A similar question arose in our face-to-face study last night when talking about Scripture that refers to "rejoicing in our sufferings" (Romans 5:3, 1 Peter 1:6, James 1:1-2). How is it possible to do such a thing? Well, again, we have a choice. I leave you with a quote from LuAnn Prater, a Proverbs 31 Ministries speaker, based on her take of the following verse:

"Be joyful always; pray continually; give thanks in all circumstance, for thsi is God's willl or you in Christ Jesus."

1 Thessalonians 4:16

LuAnn explains, "We can be jouful, not for what we're going through, but for WHO we're going through it with." That's our Jesus...He is walking through this valley right alongside each and every one of us. So while we may not rejoice in the circumstance, we can rejoice in our Savior!

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I would love to hear your thoughts on this topic....in what ways have you struggled with bitterness and how have you managed to cope with it? What questions, if any, do you have for Becky. We will be compiling our questions and passing them along to hear her take...thanks for your willingness to share with us, Becky!!

Treasures...(Bible Study Video Post)

If you visited yesterday for our weekly "In the Word Wednesday" post, then you know the topic at hand for Chapter 4 of the book we're working through (And Then You Were Gone) is about viewing our losses as punishment. Once again, Becky (the author) brings in the Truth of God's Word and shares some awesome insights about the character of who God is, His overwhelming love for us, and how He certainly can work in and through our experience in many ways. Click here to read that post.

I've provided a video below with some thoughts from my perspective as well, with a challenge to seek out the "treasures" that your child has left behind. Would love to hear from you on this one! Be blessed, ladies!

In the Word Wednesday...Is This a Punishment? (Ch. 4)

Please forgive the delay on this post! My laptop has seemed to crash :( and my computer time has been limited as a result. So, please send prayers my way for this laptop situation. This may be a little deep, but I truly believe this little hang up is a part of a larger spiritual battle going on...the Enemy would want nothing more than to keep these Jesus-lovin', gospel-proclaimin' fingertips from typing up some Truth for all you ladies!

NOTE: Giveaway winners will be announced later today....promise!

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Why is God punishing me? I know I have sin in my life. Is that the reason He took my baby? I've had multiple miscarriages or losses...there must be something I'm doing wrong! I don't have any living children...maybe I'm not fit to be a mom to children on earth?

Some of you may read the above questions or statements and wonder how someone could think such a thing. Others of you may read them and feel a sense of relief in knowing that you weren't the only one who's had such thoughts. In fact, that's the way I felt when reading Chapter 4 of Becky's book, And Then You Were Gone. While it pained me to know she too wrestled with such thoughts, I was comforted to know that I wasn't alone. Perhaps you can relate?

Becky shared some great points from Scripture that I want to highlight and challenge each of us to reflect upon and think about...

One of the passages of Scripture that she shared in Chapter 4 has brought me incredible comfort in my own loss experiences; John 9:1-3. This is the story of Jesus healing a blind man. Before Jesus performs His healing work, the disciples question the situation. They ask about who sinned that caused the man to be born blind...was it him or his parents? Jesus so lovingly responds by saying, neither this man nor his parents sinned, but this happened so that the work of God may be displayed in His life. Did you get that? So that the work of God would be displayed in his life! Wow. I cannot tell you what a relief it is to see this specific example in Scripture. I could go on with some of the ways in which I have seen God at work in and through my own loss experiences, but today, I'd rather hear from you...

Think about how this story relates to your own experience of loss. What is your reaction to this story? Have you seen God's work displayed in your life? Have you allowed God to work in and through your loss experience?

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There's so much more to say about this chapter, and I intend to via video, so stay tuned. For now, reflect upon the questions posed above and please share your thoughts in the comments.

A Name...

Tonight's post stems from a continued discussion from Chapter 3 of And Then You Were Gone, the book we are currently reading through. In this Chapter, Becky (the author) shares the names of the children whom she lost to miscarriage:

David Patrick
Micah
James Roy
Sarah Grace

All beautiful. All precious. All have meaning.

After sharing the names of her children, as well as their meanings, Becky says this:

"It is still possible to name your baby even if your miscarriage was too early to determine the sex or if your loss happened a long time ago."

Just seeing those words written on paper and reading them out loud helps me to feel as though I have permission to do such a thing. We have named two of our three babies in heaven. We have always referred to our second loss, a miscarriage at 6 weeks, as "Baby." I've been comfortable with that, but have also always had a gut feeling, as Becky also talks about in Chapter 3, about the sex of this child. I should also add that I have been right with all of my other children! :)

But seriously, Justin and I went back and forth at the time of the miscarriage about choosing a name and discussed several that were gender neutral. We never officially decided on anything, however. Still, in the quietness of my own heart I have always felt that that baby was a little boy with the name of Jesse, which means "The Lord exists." Yes, He does!

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I would love to hear the names of each of your babies...even if you call them "Baby!" Or maybe you're like me and you've had a name for that child hidden in your heart, but tonight, you want to share. Go for it! Whatever you decide, know that you are honoring your baby by speaking his/her name. Let's leave our babies names in the comments below. I'll start!

In the Word Wednesday...Entering the Darkness (Ch. 3)

Welcome to In the Word Wednesday! Join us as we travel through And Then You were Gone by Becky Avella. You can read the first two posts related to this study here and here. Today, we will dive into Chapter 3, Entering the Darkness. Again, there's so much to say and this chapter is filled with some awesome biblical truths! So...today's post will be about the pressure to "be strong" as we grieve, concluding with a challenge to allow yourself to truly grieve. I will continue with some additional topics from this chapter in the days to come!

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Becky starts Chapter 3 with the following verses:

There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under Heaven.
A time to be born and a time to die,
A time to plant and a time to uproot,
A time to kill and a time to heal,
A time to tear down and a time to build,
A time to weep and a time to laugh,
A time to mourn and a time to dance.
Ecclesiastes 3:1-4

A time for everything. Sometimes, such times include times of grief. Each of us embarking on this study are all too familiar with times of grief. Throughout this chapter, I love how Becky reiterated a truth about grief, which states:

Grief may be delayed, but it cannot be denied.

Did you get that ladies? Grief may be delayed, but it cannot be denied! That rang so true for me. The first several months to a year after Chloe died, I threw myself into so many things. All good things, I might add. It was a way for me to work through my grief. In all honesty, however, I was delaying my grief. I distinctly remember ringing in the New Year and feeling as though Chloe had died yesterday. The realization of the onset of a new year, combined with that fact that it seemed like everyone around me was celebrating in anticipation for what was to come, hurt so much. I felt as though everyone else was moving on, yet I was stuck in the darkest place I'd ever know. Still, I had to face it....I had denied it long enough. Can you relate?
Becky talks about facing this darkness, the Valley of the Shadow of Death (Psalm 23). Her words in this portion led me to think of a song that I've sang at church called Valley of Vision by Sovereign Grace. I shared some of the lyrics with the ladies in the face-to-face study, which state:

Let me find Your grace in the valley
Let me find Your life in my death
Let me find Your joy in my sorrow
Your want in my need
Draw me near with every breath
In the valley

The idea is to draw near to God during these valleys in life. That doesn't mean that we need to wear this strong, Christian facade! God wants us to come to Him just as we are and the reality is that we tend to put on this mask that disguises the reality of what we're going through. While we may be able to fool others, for a time, we can never fool God. He sees right through the mask into the very heart of who we are; He knows precisely what we think and feel.

"The Lord does not look at the things man looks at. Man looks at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart."
(1 Samuel 16: 7)

He sees our hearts, ladies. The reality of what we're going through. He knows us in and out, as we learned last week when I shared in the video some verses from Psalm 139. He created us uniquely, with feelings and emotions. Let's not shield who we are, what we're going through, and how God created us to be! We talked in the face-to-face study last night about balancing our emotions and feelings with our desire to cling to the biblical truths related to our loss, like: God is in control (Sovereignty), He will work this out for good (Romans 8:28), and God has a plan and purpose (Jeremiah 29:11-13). While all of these things are true and many of us believe them with all our hearts, it can be hard to strike a balance of clinging to these truths while experiencing feelings that starkly contrast these truths, like: I must have deserved this. My loss wasn't that important. I was only ____ weeks along. I want you to know, ladies, that these are blatant lies and we cannot give in to such thoughts, as much as our hearts are tempted to entertain them. Rather, we need to stock our hearts and minds with ammunition to ward off such negative, deceitful thoughts. This ammunition is the Word of God and things only of Him. You may be wondering, how do I do that? Here are some simple ideas:

Surrender!
If you have not given your life to Christ, that's the first step in drawing near to God. He already knows we need Him...it's up to us to humble ourselves before Him and place our lives in His hands. Romans 10:9-10 says, "...if you confess with your mouth, 'Jesus is Lord,' and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved. For it is with your heart that you believe an area justified, and it is with your mouth that you confess and are saved."

Saturate yourself with more of Him!
Be in the Word. Start with the gospel of John and read a chapter per day, or over and over each day till you feel led to move on.Choose a Psalm and read through that each day and move on to another when you feel ready.

PRAY!
Rather than being tempted to go to your mom or a girlfriend with a burden right away (which I had to confess is what I often do!), go straight to God. He longs to carry your burdens.

I think about a verse that our Pastor used in last Sunday's sermon from James, which states: "Draw near to Him and He will draw near to you." (James 4:8) Draw near. Seek Him with all your heart. It starts by humbling ourselves and letting go of the facade we so often feel we have to keep up. God wants us to come to Him just as we are...broken-down, grief-stricken, in the valley kind of women. Cry out to Him. We know from His Word that "He heals the brokenhearted and binds up all their wounds." (Psalm 147:3) That's us, ladies. He is waiting for us to come to Him.