If you're just joining us, click here to get caught up on our 12 Days of Christmas Countdown and please join in! Together, we are unwrapping the "gifts" that our babies have left behind as we purpose to honor them this Christmas.
With a hopeful heart, I sing...
On the third day of Christmas my babies left for me...
Three burning candles
Two tiny foot prints
And a super snuggly, striped blankie!
Three burning candles...
This year, as in years past, we have three burning candles aglow in our front window. They are battery-operated candles that are placed strategically in the center pane of each of the three windows at the front of our house. From the street, our Christmas tree serves as the center backdrop to the single flames. We started this tradition in 2006 after Chloe died. For three years, we lit a single candle in our window. Last year, after having miscarried Jesse and Riyah, the single candle was accompanied by two more. While it saddens me to see all three aglow, the flame that shines is so symbolic. To me, it means that their legacies live on in and through me. That they are alive in Christ, because of His great love and mercy. That they are with Him in heaven, where there is no sorrow or pain. That I will see them again in eternity. I am so thankful.
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3 comments:
three...that is the number of children my husband and I have in heaven. Although my total losses are 5, 3 of these blessed babies belong to my husband and I. When we lost Jonah last December, suddenly the other losses came back. It wasn't that I didn't think of them prior to this, but suddenly I thought of them more frequently. So many "what ifs" and "whys" really haunted my days for months. Slowly, I've been able to think of all the babies without feeling completely unstable.
3 cousins, 2 perfect footprints, and 1 handprint in a casting.
lulu has 3 cousins, 2 boys and 1 girl that never got to meet her.
The older boy cousin is going to be 4 next month and a few weeks ago my SIL said he was whispering in the car. She asked him what he was saying and he told her he was talking to God and "God said Jesus is trying to get the baby back to them." He was referring to lulu and lulu's older siblings. My SIL asked her where the baby is now and he said "in my heart." She was so shocked by what he was saying because she only talked to him once about lulu, 2 months before this conversation.
She also told me that she had showed him the painting of lulu for us when she got back from her art retreat and he was talking about the pretty flowers in the painting. The flowers surround lulu who is painted in utero, upside down. She asked him what the baby was and he said, "an angel." I was surprised at how beautiful the painting was. So colorful. Most of lulu's photos are in b/w because of how purple her face was. And the flowers she painted hide the top of her head so subtly.
Toddlers have such interesting insight!
My third baby (another early miscarriage) gave to me the gift of Jesus. While I'd been raised in church, I had drifted away in college. Losing a third child had me so broken that God could reach down and show me that I needed Him.
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