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Come and find solace as you get to know us who share in this journey of grief. We have been praying for you and extend our deepest and sincere sympathy. We “hope” you experience comfort and peace in this safe haven of love and support.

Monday, December 13, 2010

And then we were done...

If you have been following this blog for the past few months, you know that we have been working through Becky Avella's book, And Then You Were Gone: Restoring a Broken Heart After Pregnancy Loss. Well...we have officially finished the book in our face-to-face study, and this post is the final post related to the book's final chapter titled "Now What? Facing the Future."

Before I move into the meat of this post as it relates to the book, I have to encourage each and every one of you to get Becky's book! If you have been impacted by pregnancy or infant loss, you will certainly be blessed by reading it. She very eloquently weaves in her own story while keeping the reader focused on sound, biblical truth. Also, if you have read her book, please log on to Amazon.com and write a review! This would be a wonderful blessing to her and I know she will treasure your words.


Now what? Some of you may be struggling with a lack of explanation for your loss(es). Others of you may have information to move forward and have decisions to make about the future of your families. Still, others of you may have experienced yet another loss and are beginning to wonder whether you will be blessed with children to care for on this earth. We are all in different places and that's okay. Not any one of us has the exact same path laid out before us. We are unique. God, in His Sovereignty, has masterfully laid out each and every piece of our life's puzzle. As time goes by, He pieces each part together to make us complete. When we try to piece things together ourselves, parts become jumbled and the fit is not right. We have to get to a place where we let Him do the work.

In this chapter, Becky reminds us to "just do the next thing." I love this. It seems so simple and so basic, yet we muddy things up by always getting out ahead of ourselves to see the finished picture. She states, "Instead of being terrified by a future that is too overwhelming, just do the next thing that needs doing. Don't face the entirety of your future. Face today. Face this moment. In reality, it is all we really have" (p. 88). Also in this section of her chapter, Becky provides some great questions to ask yourself, such as...

Who does God want me to be today and what does He want me to do about it?
How will I live the life I am given today?

Additional questions that we came up with as a group to help us in this "face today" philosophy include...

What do I have to be thankful for today?
How can I bless someone else today?
How can I serve God today?

I believe the answer to any and all of these questions posed above lies in the truth of Matthew 6:33-34, which states...

"But seek first His kingdom and His righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. therefore do no worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own."

Seeking Him, my Jesus, and His kingdom is my first priority. I can trust Him to work out all the other details. I can rest in knowing that He has it all under control. I don't need to look so far ahead because my Savior already knows and His plans are for good (Romans 8:28). This very notion reminds me of an old gospel song that my mom shared with me in recent months. You see, my maternal grandma went to be with Jesus in June of this past year. Mom told me that she always used to sing "One Day at a Time." The lyrics of the chorus are as follows:

One day at a time, sweet Jesus
That's all I'm asking from you.
Just give me the strength
To do everyday what I have to do.
Yesterday's gone, sweet Jesus
And tomorrow may never be mine.
Lord help me today, show me the way
One day at a time.

With that, I want to conclude this post with some final words from Becky. She urges us to trust God in writing our story and to get to a place where we can say, "My Jesus is enough." Of God's character, she writes: "He is out to love us, mold us, shape us, draw us to Himself and ultimately work out what is best for us individually and for the Kingdom as a whole." He truly is, ladies! He wants to bring us to His Son. He longs for a personal relationship with us through the sacrifice Christ. Can you honestly say, "My Jesus is enough?" Is He?


More on this tomorrow, along with a special countdown to Christmas. Stay tuned and be blessed! For now, I would love to hear how you are "just doing the next thing." Share your wisdom in the comments!

1 comment:

java diva said...

I agree, Becky's book is amazing! No other book has blessed me so in losing my daughter at birth.
I wish I had known of the song One Day at a Time during the pregnancy. That was my struggle throughout. And now it's kinda cool to look back because at the same time I can see how today would be different if I hadn't taken it one day at a time then.
And I felt my heart grabbed when I read that you posted "My Jesus is enough." That is what I remind myself daily.