He is Enough

Continuing on with our discussion of Becky Avella's book, And Then You Were Gone, I want to spend some time focusing in on a portion of Chapter 8 that falls under the heading, "Shattered Dreams." In this section, Becky plainly states, "Miscarriage can be so painful because it shatters a lifelong and cherished dream" (p. 72). She's right! To some degree, we've all dreamed of having children. For some, like Becky, this dream began as a child as we nurtured and cared for our baby dolls. For others, like me, the dream may have come later in life after realizing the joy that children can bring. Whatever the case, miscarriage abruptly ends the dream that we have for that anticipated child and things are not as they ought to be.

This very thought brings me back to May 8th, 2006. It was a Monday. I was 32 weeks along in my pregnancy with Chloe, hopeful to carry her for another 8 weeks in my womb. Knowing that she had a condition that was incompatible with life, we were making all the preparations that we could in advance. A part of these preparations included prearranging her funeral. I remember it quite vividly. We sat in a cozy room at the funeral home, aided by two lovely women, one of whom had experienced the death of her own baby boy at 5 1/2 months old. She was nervous I could tell, taking care not to become too emotional as we sat and thumbed through various examples of funeral programs for babies. Now seems a proper time to say that this woman has become a dear friend. After going through all the paperwork and talking about the details of the service we had envisioned, it was time to go to another area of the funeral home to look at our options for a casket. The kind women escorted us through the beautiful and modern facility, complete with stoned walls and a beautiful fireplace, to an area that they had set up especially for us. There, on a glass-top round table, lay a handful of infant caskets ~ some larger than others; the biggest being no more than two feet long. I was overwhelmed with the reality of the situation. I couldn't say anything for quite some time and tears began to well up in the corners of my eyes. Finally, with reservation, I looked at my husband and I said, "We should be picking out a crib, not a casket." Then, the tears began to fall without relent. Simultaneously, the dreams that I had for my precious baby girl were laid to rest in the midst of a deep realization that continued to unfold.

This was not how it was supposed to be, right? Perhaps. At least in a mother's heart. Becky acknowledges that we live in a fallen world ~ a world where "sin affects everything" (p. 70). I can assuredly proclaim that the Sovereignty of God surmounts the subsistence of sin. You see, God's plans are always far better than our own. In Becky's words again, "God does His work at His speed, not mine, and He does it perfectly" (p. 73). Perfectly. Perfect. Sinless. That's His Son. Jesus!

The point of this section is to acknowledge that He, Jesus, is enough. Our God is enough. In fact, He is more than enough. The verse that Becky shared to illustrate this point comes from Psalm 73 and reads...

"Whom have I in Heaven but you? And earth has nothing I desire besides you. My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever."

Psalm 73:25-26

I was overcome with great comfort when I read these verses. I then began to think to myself...is God enough for me? Is He more than enough? My heart and mind believe this to be true, but what does my life say? Am I living as though He is enough? Tough questions. What about you? If we're honest, we can probably think of countless times when other people, things, or situations take first place. We proclaim that He is not enough when we live discontent with our circumstances. Ouch. That was piercing in my own heart and I'm the one who wrote it! We'll unpack more of this truth tomorrow, but for now, I leave you with these amazing verses that serve as a testimony that our God is all-sufficient...

"I pray that out of His glorious riches He may strengthen you with power through His Spirit in your inner being, so that Christ may dwell in your heart through faith. And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the Lord's holy people, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge - that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God. Now to Him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to His power that is at work within us."

Ephesians 3:16-20

This is my prayer for each and every one of you who read this, today. Be blessed, sweet friends.