Gifts from Riyah Mae...

One year ago, to date, Riyah Mae went to be with Jesus. I vowed then, as I do now, that God would still be my God. You can read about that here.

This past year has raced past. I finished school (finally), we have our house on the market, and I am excited about new adventures on the horizon. The Lord has blessed Mommies with Hope in ways I couldn't have imagined, and through that, I have had the amazing privilege of meeting and ministering to some very special women. As a part of my walk, I constantly seek to find the "gifts" left behind by my babies. This can be difficult in a time of grief, but difficult does not equal impossible. So today, as a tribute to Riyah, I want to share just a few "gifts" that I have discovered along the way. I trust there will be many more to come.

She brought us joy!

In the weeks and months that we new and expected her arrival, we were so joyful. The thought of another little one was a blessing from heaven. Gabe understood and was excited. Aiyana was oblivious. Still, we loved her from the moment we knew of her tiny life growing inside of me and we were thrilled! We certainly rejoice for her heavenly dwelling!

She grew us!

When the ultrasound revealed that she had already gone to be with Jesus, it didn't seem possible that we could endure another loss. It didn't make sense as to why she was gone. Rather than a search for answers and explanations, we were at peace with her passing. She grew us. We rested in our Savior, not the circumstances. Yes, it hurt...very deeply. Still, we trusted God would use her brief life for something wonderfully glorious, and this my friends, is truly a gift.

She makes heaven look sweeter!

Any of us who have a baby in heaven certainly has a longing for heaven to some degree. I can't venture to say that I know what heaven will be like, but I do know two things for sure: 1) Jesus has welcomed each of my babies into His dwelling place upon their earthly departures, and 2) One day, Jesus will call me home and I will go to them. Knowing they are there, gives me a greater longing for heaven. First and foremost, I will see my Savior face-to-face and drop to my knees in worship. Yet, I can't help but picture him holding my babies in His arms with Riyah Mae being the youngest of them all.

Today, we remember. I don't know whether we will do anything out of the ordinary, or whether we'll plan something special. I vow to take the day as it comes, yet all the while making the same commitment I did in that sterile exam room one year ago when I said, "God, whatever happens...I will still love you. You are still my God." He is the same today as He was yesterday and will be tomorrow...a Truth upon which I can rely!