Welcome to Mommies with Hope

Come and find solace as you get to know us who share in this journey of grief. We have been praying for you and extend our deepest and sincere sympathy. We “hope” you experience comfort and peace in this safe haven of love and support.

Monday, August 9, 2010

Your Questions...His Word (and a Giveaway!)

Today will be the first of a series of posts that will address some of the poignant questions/topics you have posed with regard to your loss experience. These questions were submitted anonymously at our July "Hope Meeting" as well as through the blog. Please feel free to keep the questions coming and to join in on the discussion via the "comments" section below.

**Here is where the giveaway comes into play!***
Each time you comment on the blog posts during this series, your name will be entered into a drawing for a special "Mommy Shower" basket of goodies! Included will be a Starbucks gift card, a copy of Becky Avella's new book on pregnancy loss titled "And Then You Were Gone: Restoring a Broken Heart After Pregnancy Loss", chocolate for sure, and probably some other fun things! So...read on "mommies" and comment away. This series will go for the next couple of weeks and a winner will be announced at the end of the series. Thus, there are many chances to enter your name into the drawing to win!

The first question/topic is: "How talking helps."

For many of us who have experienced loss, we often feel as if we are the only person in the world who has ever endured such a thing. In our society, pregnancy is so glamorized that we often fail to realize the prevalence of pregnancy and infant loss. In reality, approximately 2 million women in the United States alone experience pregnancy or infant loss each year. Despite these statistics, we grieve in silence, often feeling isolated and alone. Sometimes we may feel as though even our husbands/partners don't understand. Ladies, I am here to tell you that you are not alone.

What some of us have learned along the way is that talking about our loss helps. The Mommies with Hope groups are just one way of providing an outlet for women to be able to talk. We do our best to offer a safe place, guided by God's Word, for women to come together and share their story. In doing so, we are living out a command found in Galatians 6:2 where it says, "Carry each others burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ." It is a blessing to have someone to "talk to." Sharing our story of our baby(ies) allows us to...

* Honor their brief, yet precious lives
* Relate to someone else who may be going through or has experienced something similar
* Create a network of support
* Find comfort from others who have "been there"

The last point leads me to a passage from 2 Corinthians, chapter 1, which serves as the foundation for the formation of this group.

"Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves have received from God."
(2 Corinthians 1:3-4)

While we may have felt at times like we are all alone in our grief, we can trust that God is there for us. Countless Scriptures remind us of His compassion and love. He understands fully our pain, as it was He who loved us so much that He sent His Son, Jesus, to die for our sins (John 3:16). Because of the comfort we have received from God, we have been compelled to be a comfort to others. That is a part of sharing our story, don't you think? It's reciprocal...by talking about our loss, we not only feel comforted and validated in our experience, we are also comforting someone else by letting them know that they are not alone either. While none of us can know exactly how another feels, we sure have a pretty good idea. It is this shared experience of loss that creates a bond among us.

"And our hope for you is firm, because we know that just as you share in our sufferings, so also you share in our comfort."
(2 Corinthians 1:7)

What do you all think? Have you had the chance to talk about it? How has talking about your loss helped you? Do you have any examples you'd like to share?
Feel free to share your story in the comments below. We'd love to hear about your special baby(ies)!


Rachel B said...

My good friend, Jill, who is also a follower on this page lost her baby only 2 weeks before I did. After I had lost my baby (and was awaiting a d&c) she sent out invitations inviting some of the women who supported her the most during her loss to a "Celebration of Life and Sisterhood." It was a get-together with 10 or 12 women, all sisters in Christ. She played a couple of songs (on CD), read a poem she wrote and allowed me to read something I wrote as well (it's on my blog entitled "My September 11th Story). We all talked, shared...come to find out some of these other women had experienced miscarriage as well. It was so good to talk! To celebrate the short lives of our babies, our own lives and the Christian sisters God has sent to walk beside us. To be reminded of God's truth, hope and provision even during that difficult time! There was such peace there. It was a good time of healing for her and gave me strength for the day ahead. This get-together was a wonderful idea and I'm so grateful that she followed through with it. More people should do something like this.

I so appreciate this blog, Teske! It is much needed. God is using you to reach the hearts of women, reminding them that there is hope in peace, and that it comes only through the Lord. May He continue to bless this ministry!

Jill said...

I read your words and agree; it's so easy to feel all alone. I was thankful for the women who reached out and shared with me - God does comfort us so we can comfort another! I also know He used those alone moments to make Himself known and help me feel His presence stronger than I ever had.

As Rachel wrote above God put it on my heart to have a "Celebration of Life and Sisterhood." I wasn't sure what to expect but was so blessed by the time we shared together. If you want to read more about it go here - http://titus24u.blogspot.com/2008/09/what-night.html or http://titus24u.blogspot.com/2008/09/were-having-celebration.html

As time goes by and we near the 2 year anniversary of our loss I also think it's important to talk about our babies even when the pain isn't so raw. It's still important to remember!!

Thanks for helping me do just that!! ~ Jill

Rhonda B said...

Treske, Thank you so much for this website and reaching out to so many people who need to share & grieve and need support. I had a tubal pregancy back in the early 1990's and did not have any one to talk to and share my loss. It's terrible to say, but I can't even remember the year that it happened now, but with just being 8 weeks pregnant it was tramatic experience. Your blog is asking if we will ever see our babies again in heaven and I had never even thought about that until recently. I'm looking forward to your next blogs. Thanks for sharing God's truths!!! ~~ Rhonda B

Teske said...

Rachel and Jill - what an awesome thing you ladies did! I love it! Rhonda - thanks for sharing your heart. You are a true blessing!

Anonymous said...

Thank you Teske for your mission to help women who are grieving.

I have had the change to share my story with a wonderful group of ladies who have "been there". I am thankful that God has brought the Mommies with Hope group into my life. He has has opened my world and allowed me to feel safe and comfort in sharing my story.

Anonymous said...

What a inspiration you are and so humble knowing your loss and grief, God is rewarding you each and every day as you share your stories and wisdom. I appreciate your website each and every day. I know I can count on it helping me with my losses. thank-you Teske you are such a wonderful person.